Rummaging Through My Thoughts

Dear Diary,

What am I supposed to do? What does everyone want from me? I feel like I’m constantly treading with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I try… I try so, so hard. I try to please people and I try to please myself. There really is no perfect balance, is there?

Or maybe it’s not everyone else. Maybe the issue is me. After all, there has to be some sort of factor to my many failed friendships. Why don’t girls like me? All I want is that novel best friend. The one who I can call at 3 in the morning and she’ll come over with ice cream and movies.

Somehow every friendship that I think is going to work just crashes and burns.

Maybe I’m setting myself up for failure.

My friends don’t seem to get it. I put in so much effort despite how crappy I feel on a daily basis.

If I put in effort to see how you’re feeling, the least you can do is respond to me. I’m getting fed up with people like you.

I can rise above and realize that I’m not the only one with problems. I do my best to reach out and help you. It’s time for you to step up and realize the world isn’t out to get you and you’re not alone in your issues.

The sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be.

I’m done trying to make everyone happy. I need to focus on myself for a while.

It’s time to cut toxic people out of my life.

I’ll Write Later,


I need to workout. My doctor says core workouts would improve my health a ton, especially with my POTs. He says that it will help blood flow where it’s supposed to be, but of course I have intolerance to physical activities…

What do you guys do to workout? I’m completely lost here. Everything I try makes me feel sick. 😦