Just an update from a prior post – my SAT scores came in and I got a decision regarding my admittance into the college I’ve always wanted to go to.

My SAT scores came in. I was neither happy nor sad regarding them. An 1820 is pretty good for someone who is intolerant to mornings and standing and has a fogged up brain. (Not to make excuses). But I’m proud of myself nonetheless. Glad it’s done with.

I got my letter in… I was shaking when I saw it was available and I was preparing myself for the worst. Upon opening it, I was overjoyed to see the words “I am pleased to offer you admission to….” I jumped up and screamed and ran to my mom (with more energy than I probably have had in a long time), and she picked me up (as much as she could) and embraced me in a bear hug. It was one of those moments I’ll cherish throughout my life.

I’m so happy and relieved that I now know where I’m going to be next year. The level of comfort and joy I feel on that campus supersedes any other one.

Barrett the Honors College, here I come ūüôā

Love,
Jenna

This past week has been phenomenal. I’ve been on spring break, and let me tell you, it’s been great! Spring break to most teens equals going to the lake, or Cali, or some other crazy party road trip. But to me, spring break is that relief in the year that comes at the perfect time. It comes at that point where I just wanna quit. Spring break to me is my time to just sleep and sleep and sleep some more. My sleep debt has been repaid near fully, but I could always use more! ūüėČ

There was only 2 days this past week where I woke up feeling woozy and with blurred vision. Today was one of them.

I woke up around 8 AM to help my dad with yard work (UGH). My asthma and allergies go crazy outside. I’m sure this didn’t help my POTs. I was absolutely winded and exhausted within 45 minutes. Thinking about it, that’s actually pretty sad for someone my age…

I went out to breakfast with my parents, came home and fell into a deep sleep on the couch despite it being broad daylight. Since this morning I’ve felt off all day. But I’ll take one really bad day with several perfect days over lots of kinda bad days anytime.

I’m having trouble focussing and thinking of the words to write this post. I think that’s why I haven’t been blogging much lately.

I feel like my brain fog mixed with Zoloft side effects has really messed with my attention span span and though process…

I’ve scheduled an appointment with my doc to see if adderall is an option for me. Anyone on it?

Also, does anyone take any sort of vitamins to help with their POTs effects? I’m thinking about taking some iron supplements as I am Anemic as well.

I would love some feedback!

-Jenna

The more heat that comes on where I live, the worse I feel. It’s going to be close to 90 degrees this weekend, and today I was dragging my feet walking to class.

For the past 2 weeks I have missed a ton of class and I’ve been waking up to the world spinning around me.

I have to admit it’s not all my POTs’ fault though.. I am to blame for some of it as well.

I’m extremely sensitive to my anxiety medication. Even an increment of 10mgs of it hits me hard. So me being stupid decided to stop taking it for a week. For that whole week I moped around the house feeling depressed and off. It wasn’t until I started having my panic attacks again that I decided that maybe, just maybe, I should go back on my medicine. (Duh, Jenna…).

I went back on it. But instead of slowly going back on, I immediately took the 100mgs that had taken me over a month to adapt to before. The next day I felt like everything was in slow motion and I was dizzy and nauseous.

It wasn’t until a few days ago that all of those symptoms subsided.

So if you can imagine my normal POTs symptoms, mixed with this.. Well let’s just say I was not a happy camper!

Anyway, I never ever drive when my symptoms come on. Especially when the double vision takes over. So my mom has been driving me to school and home. It makes me feel bad when I don’t feel well enough to drive and she has to take time out of her day to drive me.

In other news, I took the SATS on Saturday. I chose a different school this time to test at and thankfully it didn’t require me to stand in line for nearly as long! Afterwards I felt mentally and physically exhausted. I’m still feeling it, actually. Let’s cross our fingers that this is the last time I have to take it! I find out my scores in 2 weeks.

I also find out in two weeks if I made it into the college that I want so badly to get into. I’m afraid that all the days absent I’ve had because of my POTs has affected my grades in a way that they would reject me…

I guess I’ll just hope for the best!

Btw, do you guys feel worse in the morning or at another time of the day? I’m starting to dread waking up just to feel like I’m floating!

Love you all,
Jenna ūüôā

Butterflies, Cockroaches, College, Oh my!

Last night I spent the night walking around the university I’m most likely going to attend. ¬†Last time I took a tour around a university was around the end of my junior year. ¬†At that point, I laughed with my cousin and felt butterflies in my stomach at the excitement. ¬†It didn’t seem real, and it didn’t settle in my mind as a big deal because it felt so so far away and so out of reach. ¬†But here I am. ¬†It’s March now. ¬†Only 3 months¬†left until graduation. ¬†This is insane. ¬†Even typing it here blows my mind. ¬†By next month, I will have to commit to a university. ¬†I will be signing the contract that drives the direction my life will go in. ¬†Okay okay. ¬†That was a bit dramatic. ¬†But I feel like I only have a few more dramatic teen years left, so I might as well live it up! ¬†ūüėČ ¬†Anyway, this time I walked around and felt an entirely different rush of emotions come over me. ¬†I looked up at the humongous buildings and the feelings that resonated in me reminded me of my first tour of my high school. ¬†It’s an amazing, exhilarating, refreshing, and terrifying feeling. ¬†It really is. ¬†But I love it. ¬†My friend and I walked amongst the students commuting on their bikes and longboards. ¬†We daydreamed of the days where we would be those students. ¬†With our books in hand talking to our new best friends as we walked to class. ¬†Everyone looked so content, and focussed. ¬†The atmosphere was so different from my high school. ¬†Not to mention the campus was beautiful! ¬†(Aside from the blooming plants everywhere that I was allergic to).

Image

Lovely fountain on campus.

Image

Me walking on campus ūüôā

Image

Robyn’s empowering words ūüôā

Image

The building I’ll be in most of the time.. (hopefully) ūüôā

 Image

Image

Madagascar Hissing Cockroach. That’s right…I held it. That’s my hand!

Other than my allergies acting up and the occasional dizziness while walking, I felt great!  Today I am definitely feeling the aftermath of having a clogged nose.

On the topic of college, I’m feeling anxious about certain things. ¬†Like the living situation. ¬†I don’t think I’m a dorm person. ¬†But everyone I talk to always encourages me to experience the dorm life. ¬†I think this is biased as all the people I’ve asked are huge social butterflies and/or enjoy parties. ¬†I definitely don’t and I often feel extremely overwhelmed when I don’t have “me” time. ¬†I think I’ve decided to live at home and commute (which isn’t that bad of a drive). ¬†I think I’ll be happier this way. ¬†I also am not too sure how my health will be by next year. ¬†There are times where I just fall down when I get up to use the restroom in the middle of the night. ¬†And there are times where being around other people in my state of health would be completely embarrassing and nerve-wracking. ¬†I don’t want my roommate on edge, feeling as if she would have to watch out for me all the time. ¬†I don’t want to have the unnecessary stress on me that I think dorm life would bring. ¬†I’m content with my decision to live at home, but I wish my friends could understand this. ¬†They all seem disgusted by the fact I would want to live at home just a little longer…

If only they knew.

Signing off,

Jenna ūüôā

P.S. Remember my best friend, Robyn I wrote about? ¬†She has a blog, and she’s an amazing writer! ¬†If you like insanely intelligent, sweet, beautiful people then you will definitely like her ūüôā ¬†Follow her at: thepillower.wordpress.com

Things I need to quit.

With POTs comes many challenges, (obviously). ¬†There’s lists upon lists of do’s and dont’s. ¬†Things to make you better and things that could exsaberate your symptoms. ¬†There are things I try and do to alleviate my symptoms- eating salty foods, drinking more water, leg exercises, etc. ¬†But there are also a ton of things I do, that I really shouldn’t. ¬†Things I do that probably pisses my POTs off to no other, and weighs me down. ¬†It’s bad of me to complain about my symptoms when I’m not really taking every single precaution to avoid them. ¬†

So here are a list of things I need to quit.  Not only to relieve my POTs symptoms, but also to help myself become a better person.  Mentally and physically.

  • Soda. ¬†Not only does it provide zero benefits¬†nutritionally, it also makes me feel horrible. My heart races after I drink it. ¬†Caffeine is no good for POTsies.
  • Staying up too late. ¬†I think I need more sleep, the less sleep I get, the more nauseous and dizzy I feel in the mornings.
  • Stress. ¬†Unfortunately, this isn’t something I can just “quit” per say. ¬†BUT I can do things to avoid being overly stressed out. ¬†Such as completing things ahead of time as opposed to procrastinating. ¬†As the saying goes, “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. ¬†
  • Eating complete crap.
  • Exercising irregularly. ¬†I really need to get on a daily schedule. ¬†This is one of my absolute main goals.
  • Being on my phone constantly. ¬†I feel like staring at the screen and looking down makes my dizziness worse. ¬†

So there is my list for now. ¬†I’m sure there are many more things I could work on to better myself and my health. ¬†Wish my luck on accomplishing these things!

-Jenna